Two Olds Don't Make a Right

I think the last time I wrote in here it was to tell you all about this really nice guy who started coming by The Buzz to talk. His name was Adam and he was recently widowed and looking for someone to talk to. His eyes are this amazing shade of Caribbean blue and he broke my heart from he first time he sat down with is cup of coffee. He had just moved to the area to give his kids a fresh start without their mom and since I've been here for almost seven years now, I was happy to help him. He started coming in regularly and we got close... closer than I intended for us to. I didn't really ever consider "dating" Adam because he is so much older than me and, let's be honest, I shouldn't date. (That is a whole different blog post that maybe I'll feel like writing some day but for now, I'll leave it that I am incapable. How's that?) Anyway, he asked me to go to some work thing with I'm at first so he didn't have to go alone and he didn't know a lot of other people and I agreed. It was fun and I'm glad I went. I thought he understood that I was staying in the friend zone and tried to be as honest as I could about not wanting anything more with him. I mean, I thought about hooking him up with my sister so you know I am serious!




Once night after we went to dinner and he dropped me off at home, he must have decided that he wanted things to be more. I had been dodging most physical contact other than taking his arm or letting him put his arm around me for far too long. I knew it was time to cut ties and be honest and I was going to! I really was! The night he actually kissed me and I didn't pull away was sweet, and honest, and awful at the same time because I should have felt something after hanging out for 3 1/2 months but I didn't.  On New Year's Day, I told Adam that I didn't think we should spend so much time together anymore. I couldn't be a stand-in mom for his kids and he and they both deserves someone that can pour herself into them and give him what he deserves too. He has been into The Buzz a couple more times and still smiles but its different now and he looks a little sad while I feel a little bad. Honestly, he was really good to me and I didn't mean to hurt him but I just didn't feel what needed to be there.

Not long after New Year's I was working, because that's pretty much all I do anymore. Its a good problem to have if you own a business but I swear I need a break! Back to work... I was at work when some strange guy walked in, asked if I was Willow Black, and handed me an envelope with only my first name on it. I walked behind the bar to open it and found a note that only said, "See You Saturday" attached to a  Seattle Thunderbirds tickets. By the time I looked back to ask the deliverer who sent the tickets, he was long gone. So, color me curious! Here I am with two tickets to my first hockey game with NO idea who had sent it! I wracked my brain all week to try to come up with names and even called out my sister and a couple of my friends from high school but no one knew anything about it. By Friday of that week, I was dying of curiosity and to get to Seattle to see who would have sent me a ticket! That day, a jersey with another anonymous note showed up on my doorstep.


I cut out of work early Saturday and left for Seattle on pins and needles. I'm not great at surprises sometimes, and not knowing who would be sitting in the other seat had me nervous to say the least. I had on my jersey, got a large popcorn and made my way to the ticketed seat. When I finally found it, the last person in the world I expected to be sitting there waiting for me was there. Do you remember a couple of years ago when I was dating that guy from my classes? Dante? YEAH!! DANTE!! The last guy I actually dated because I wanted to date him?! I ran over and hugged him and accidentally dumped popcorn on some old grouchy business man who told me to sit my ass down. We spent the game talking and catching up on his job in Atlanta, my job in Forks, and all the things we used to have fun doing. The hockey game was great but we cut out early and went to get some nachos and a beer and I ended up staying much later than I planned just hanging out. I didn't realize how much I missed talking to him. He had a flight back to Atlanta in the morning and I had to be at work early so at about 2:00 am we finally left the bar. We've texted a couple of times since he went back home and it was one of the best surprises I've ever had. *smiles* I needed a night away for some fun like that.



So other than an old guy and an old boyfriend, I'm just sitting here waiting for whatever happens next. Its been pretty quiet and pretty busy at the same time in my life and I don't know if I can focus on what's in the middle of all the coffee and invoices. It might be time for me to take a step back and refocus. Do you know what I mean?


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