Don't Speak
Once upon a time there was a handsome prince with dark curls and a killer grin. His charm and smile, his sensitivity and the way he looked at the girl melted her heart and stole her soul. She fell in love with the prince and he loved her too. And he left her and her heart broke. The prince and the girl spent days and weeks and years being closer than anyone thought they could ever be after letting go of something that was so right to one and so wrong to the other, and the girl never got her heart or her soul back.
I swore after the corn maze at Halloween that I was going to end things with Josh. He loves me and he is sweet to me and I don't ever want to hurt him but what we learned on from the blog before this is that I made out with Quil in Mexico and to be honest, I never told Josh any of that happened. I don't know how to break that kind of news to someone and now that the past week has happened, there isn't really a reason to tear into something that will destroy him. I can't... and I should.
On Christmas Eve I was at Josh's family's house opening gifts and having dinner. The family was laughing and having fun and I was there trying to feel at home when I honestly felt like I was suffocating.
Lets back up... I said I was going to to end things with Josh, right? The problem is that he said he loves me and he wants to build this amazing life with me and Quil doesn't. Or he can't. I don't know but my sister keeps pushing me to move on and I know Josh would be good for me and people used to learn to love other people all the time. I've seen and read the stories of people who were betrothed and how they learned to live with the person they married because it was best for their kingdom. Long story short, I stayed with him despite what my heart was screaming and squeezing for me to do. I stayed with Josh and Christmas Even came and then this happened.
I was shocked and he was proposing in his parent's bathroom. I felt like the wind was knocked out of me and my nerves were on fire. This all sounds exactly like an engagement should be, right? He asks, the girl loses her mind and says yes and they live happily ever after. Except I wasn't able to even answer. I couldn't talk. I nodded yes because my heart was torn entirely in two pieces. It hurt and I was tearing up because I know this might be my life. This might be the guy who actually wants me and I shouldn't be so lucky to have someone who wants me this much and WHY can't I say it? I guess the nod was enough because the ring is on my finger and Josh is dying to tell his family.
I left the bathroom and made him promise not to tell anyone yet. I need time to digest this. I need to tell Quil and I have no idea how to say it or what to say. I don't know how I feel or what happens next except I'm engaged. To Josh...
And then came the good looking guy who helped her pick up the pieces, made her laugh when she didn't know if she could and helped her build her business. He loved her very much and she thought he was super nice. Such is my life.....
I swore after the corn maze at Halloween that I was going to end things with Josh. He loves me and he is sweet to me and I don't ever want to hurt him but what we learned on from the blog before this is that I made out with Quil in Mexico and to be honest, I never told Josh any of that happened. I don't know how to break that kind of news to someone and now that the past week has happened, there isn't really a reason to tear into something that will destroy him. I can't... and I should.
On Christmas Eve I was at Josh's family's house opening gifts and having dinner. The family was laughing and having fun and I was there trying to feel at home when I honestly felt like I was suffocating.
Lets back up... I said I was going to to end things with Josh, right? The problem is that he said he loves me and he wants to build this amazing life with me and Quil doesn't. Or he can't. I don't know but my sister keeps pushing me to move on and I know Josh would be good for me and people used to learn to love other people all the time. I've seen and read the stories of people who were betrothed and how they learned to live with the person they married because it was best for their kingdom. Long story short, I stayed with him despite what my heart was screaming and squeezing for me to do. I stayed with Josh and Christmas Even came and then this happened.
I was shocked and he was proposing in his parent's bathroom. I felt like the wind was knocked out of me and my nerves were on fire. This all sounds exactly like an engagement should be, right? He asks, the girl loses her mind and says yes and they live happily ever after. Except I wasn't able to even answer. I couldn't talk. I nodded yes because my heart was torn entirely in two pieces. It hurt and I was tearing up because I know this might be my life. This might be the guy who actually wants me and I shouldn't be so lucky to have someone who wants me this much and WHY can't I say it? I guess the nod was enough because the ring is on my finger and Josh is dying to tell his family.
I left the bathroom and made him promise not to tell anyone yet. I need time to digest this. I need to tell Quil and I have no idea how to say it or what to say. I don't know how I feel or what happens next except I'm engaged. To Josh...
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